A Problem, an A-Ha Moment, and What I Learned This Winter

An invitation, a permission slip, and a prompt.

A Problem 

Watching Love Is Blind has reminded me just how problematic binary thinking is and how the media reinforces it despite the dangers.

I know it’s for a TV drama, but the fact that Love Is Blind couples get to their wedding day and have two choices: “I do” or “We’re over” instead of being realistic and seeing additional options such as, “We aren’t ready to get married yet, but let’s keep dating” is a small example.

And it’s not just this silly reality TV show where I see the lack of gray and nuance that is desperately needed in the world. Whenever we’re “so sure” that something is an absolute or take any complex issue (read: poverty, homelessness, addiction, abortion, racism, etc.) and simplify it to being this or that / good or bad / us vs them, we do ourselves a disservice and further perpetuate the problem.

Longer Table Living is an invitation to look for the gray in a world that is often trying to be only black and white. In doing so, we remain open, curious, and end up loving people better. For more on this particular idea, I recommend reading Binary vs Spectrum Thinking.

An A-Ha Moment 

My a-ha moment happened in a bathroom stall at the airport.

It wasn’t a super spiritual moment or the type of revolution that occurs when the setting and circumstances are perfect. It just dawned on me while I happened to be peeing at the Austin airport… 

I’m allowed to change my mind.

That was it. I was feeling torn about a decision I thought I’d made but was second-guessing. I’m allowed to change my mind. Relief and peace flooded my soul. As soon as I gave myself permission to take back the decision I’d previously made and go in a different direction, tension released.

Whether it be about a relationship, career path, parenting technique, or something entirely different, we don’t have to stick with whatever we believed or decided in the past. We are free to change our minds. If you need permission to change yours about someone or something, consider this your sign. 

What I Learned This Winter  

Through a series of unfortunate events, I’ve learned not to take good health for granted.

There has been one thing after another in our household this year. Truly, since the beginning of January it feels like sickness, in some capacity, has not let up. Last night I texted a friend “I. Can’t. Catch. A. Break.” Last week, a severe sore throat and hives on my face were the struggle. Now, as I sit here with mouth ulcers that are super painful and a very likely case of pink-eye,* I have to laugh in order not to cry. I feel defeated.

*I’m headed to a doctor appointment later today, thankfully! 

I’ve spent the last four months dealing with some health issue nearly every single day. I’m really not sure what it’s going to take to experience full physical recovery, but I’m weary and frustrated.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past few years it’s to listen to my body. Listening isn’t the hard part for me… I hear her because she’s screaming at me. Surrendering to her is the hard part. So, care to hold me accountable? I’m going to take the rest of this week to rest. And I mean deeply rest. I’ve taken my health for granted and my body is begging for more TLC.

Is there something (or someone) you’ve taken for granted? How can you honor it (them) by showing extra love and appreciation today?

I appreciate all of your prayers for my health and grace for how quiet I’ve been on the internet. Please know that my silence (and few words) is not indicative of a decrease in passion for justice or care for others in general.

I’m doing the best that I can right now. I’m sure you are too. May this be our reminder to withhold judgment whenever we’re tempted to write a story about people whose lives we can’t see behind the curtain.

Love & Lemon-Ginger Tea,

Manda