Four Simple Questions to Ask Yourself Today
& Five Reasons I Love City Living
E and I love doing a simple exercise together called Four Helpful Lists. If you haven’t already heard me talk about it, it’s simply answering these four questions:
1. What’s Right?
2. What’s Wrong?
3. What’s Missing?
4. What’s Confused?
You certainly don’t need a spouse or anyone to utilize them — these questions illuminate a lot of what remains hidden, so use them alone or with a friend, parent, coworker…whatever feels best and will serve you well.
They can be used in the context of a very specific topic (i.e.: at my job, in our marriage, in this particular relationship, etc.), but they’re also fun to use broadly, such as “about life right now.” My own answers catch me by surprise sometimes.
For curious minds, here’s a super condensed version of what came up for me as I answered them broadly about my life right now:
What’s right? Our rhythms. In so many ways I’m living my dream life.
What’s wrong? Our sleepless nights. We have given up on trying to get Shia, who is nearly 2.5 years old, to sleep through the night. This struggle produces so much anxiety and strife and is not sustainable, but it’s a problem we genuinely don’t know how to fix.
What’s missing? A plan for my next book, and space to fit more reading and writing in consistently with all of the major life changes we’ve got going on.
What’s confused? Where we’ll be living in the next couple of months. We’re staying in LA, but we are looking for a single family home (probably to rent, not buy, because you have to have a budget of ~1.2 million to buy a tiny home here, lolz).
Answering these questions always leads to further conversation, and before we know it, we’ve forgotten to turn on the TV! E and I never regret the nights we stay up late just talking on the couch together. If you’re married or live under the same roof as someone else, I dare you to initiate this little activity tonight. Use me as your scapegoat ;)
As I elaborated to E why so much of our ordinary life is my dream come true (my answer to What’s Right?), I realized so much of it had to do with being in a big city.
E and I have now lived in a major city* for seven years! *five years in Chicago, two in Los Angeles
In honor of that, here’s 5 of my favorite things about city living:
Walkability — We remain a one-vehicle family, and that’s because we don’t need our own. Nearly everything we want/need to access is within walking distances. Most days we walk to our grocery store, one of seven coffee shops we adore, one of several parks with cool playgrounds for Shia, and even our closest friend’s house. I love that on days I don’t get to yoga class or am unable to fit in a workout, I still get exercise just because it’s built into the culture of our life here.
Food options — There is so much good food to choose from, and my tastebuds are thriving because of the variety and new exposure I’ve had. I grew up on chain restaurants and a very bland, comfortable diet. Now, I eat outside of the box and much healthier overall. Lately my favorite lunch item is a Vietnamese Banh Mi sandwich from this restaurant that’s a short walk from our apartment. (I recently told E that if we ever moved back to Indiana to be near family I would probably miss the food scene even more than the weather!)
Culture/Endless Things to Do — We live in such a vibrant, thriving place that offer a wealth of opportunities to engage in and experience our local community. From restaurants to art galleries, museums, theaters, concert venues, clubs, festivals, parks, etc. there’s no shortage of activities to participate in and learn something new.
Diversity — To piggyback off my last point, within the endless options of places to eat and things to do is also ordinary life. And throughout even the most ordinary moments, we are constantly exposed to people who differ from us in some way. I so appreciate that not everyone looks the same, believes the same, grew up the same, etc. It's been easy to form genuine relationships with people of all different ethnicities, religious beliefs, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation (the list goes on and on) because we live in the city, and that matters so much to us.
Open Mindset — “Anything goes here!” I often remind our visitors. Whether it’s what you wear, the dream you’re chasing, who you love, etc. It’s a beautiful thing to be surrounded by a population of majority open-minded humans who aren’t judging you for going off the beaten path, pursuing a dream at 40 years old, or styling your hair in an unorthodox style simply because you like it best.
Does any small part of your life feel like a dream come true right now? Talk to me in the comments or hit reply.
Love to you in the middle of May,
Manda
Looking for something I’ve mentioned recently?
This is where I store promo codes for things I love and won’t shut up about. Here’s where I keep a bunch of favorites linked. And in honor of National Foster Care Awareness Month, I put together 80 pages of what I wish I knew before becoming a foster parent just for you.