If Mother’s Day is Complicated...

& if not, read anyway. because it is for someone you know.

Mother’s Day can be extremely triggering for some. Whether due to a loss, a tumultuous or nonexistent relationship, a difficult season of motherhood, an unfulfilled desire to be a mom, or something entirely different…

I won’t pretend to have all the answers (ever). However, I have a few ideas on how we can be considerate and intentional this Mother’s Day… making space at our tables (in other words: our lives) for connection, grief, celebration and more.

Take a moment to think of someone you know who might be grieving this Mother’s Day.

Perhaps it’s a foster mom who’s recently said goodbye to a child. Maybe it’s a friend who lost her mom or another who lost the baby she was growing in her tummy. It might be the biological parent of a child in your care. Whoever it is, reach out.

It might be as simple as saying, “I’m thinking of you on this day.” Acknowledging someone’s pain – past or present – says a lot. Don’t let your own discomfort or fear of saying the wrong thing get in the way. Send the text, flowers, or a Tupperware of muffins. Just do something to show you care.

Take a moment to think of someone you know who might be feeling lonely this Mother’s Day.

Do they live far from their mom? Are they longing for a child? Has their mom passed away?

What if you included them in part of your day; say lunch or dinner? Even if they don’t accept it, an invitation goes a long way.

Take a moment to think of someone you know who might long for encouragement this Mother’s Day.

Is it a brand new mama who hasn’t slept in weeks? Is it the mom of older kids who misses the days when her babies were little and held their hand willingly? Is it a friend who is trying to conceive?

I’ve never met anyone who didn’t appreciate a compliment or an uplifting message so you really can’t go wrong with this one. And it doesn’t have to take up a ton of your time. Send them a handwritten card or an audio text message. Just tell them: I see you. And share why you admire them. It will mean a ton.

Let’s embrace the tension instead of ignoring it.

There’s nothing  wrong with posting a photo with your kids or your mom celebrating Mother’s Day. Gratitude should never be suppressed (in my humble opinion).

However, taking the moment to be considerate and intentional with others is how we build longer tables and show them that we aren’t blind to their pain in the midst of our joy.

What ideas do you have? Is this a complicated occasion for you? Talk to me in the comments, or hit reply to share privately. I’m here, and I’m all ears. 

Catch you here again Friday,

Manda

PS. The next letter coming is called Why Getting a “Real” Job Was Best for Me, My Family, & (Surprisingly) My Business. I think you’ll enjoy it!

• Only 3 days left to order a Get Too Attached crewneck if you want one! 

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• Everything I wish I knew before becoming a foster parent is in my new guide, Foster Well.