I've got so much to tell you!

7 reflection questions, 2 quotes, a 14-min bonus podcast episode & more

I began writing this letter to you last Sunday…

Shia is snoozing in his crib after an eventful morning of walking to coffee with our friends and playing at the park with their daughter, his local bestie. The dryer is going, a surprisingly soothing noise amidst the silence. E is getting some work done in his studio, and I’m sitting on the couch while our baby girl bounces around in my belly. I have so much to be thankful for, and I’m keenly aware of it. 

Of course life isn’t perfect; there are plenty of things not going well that I have less pleasant feelings about. 

An unexpected tiff with a friend. Fear that our savings account will wither away if our Chicago house doesn’t sell. Getting my hopes up about something only to be ghosted entirely. Also, will I ever sleep through the night again (outside of childless vacations)? 

However, the things that matter most to me – relational health, physical + mental health, and spiritual health – are flourishing for the most part. I’m doing my best to savor this season instead of waiting for expecting something to go wrong.

What are you keenly aware of these days?

How are things going; particularly the things that matter most to you?

On Sunday afternoon, after Shia woke up from his nap, we walked to T-Mobile. Our friend Megs (aka: our weekly Wednesday date night sitter / Shi’s bonus auntie) joined us. We added her to our phone plan since we discovered we had an extra line available through our account and it saves us all money this way! 

When we got back home, Megs cooked an incredible Korean Stir Fry dinner. We try to have what we call “Carps-Megs Dinners” at least once a month. We alternate who cooks/brings take-out. It’s always a treat!

That evening as I climbed into bed, I reflected on the day. “This is Longer Table Living,” I thought. Communal. Untraditional. Inclusive. Mutually Beneficial.

Whenever we share, recycle, borrow, gather and include, the world is a brighter place.

What do you have that you could share with someone else?

What do you no longer use that you could offer up?

What do you need that you could borrow instead of buying?

Who could you gather at your table?

Who could you include in your everyday ordinary life somehow? 

I don’t love our friend Megs because she is a generous cook or a trustworthy sitter for Shia. (Although those are big perks of being her friend!) I love her because of who she is… her thoughts and ideas, encouragement and interest, and the way she adds both fun and depth to my life. 

One thing I’ve learned about building longer tables is to ensure that relationships are mutually beneficial. Love people — not for what they can do for you, but for who they are. No one wants to feel used or taken advantage of.

On the flip-side, no one wants to feel like a charity case either. No one wants to be “saved” or feel like they have nothing to offer you in return. No one wants to be a project that makes you feel better about yourself.

So, if you have money to give, give it. If you have time to offer, offer it. Build longer tables every chance you get! Just don’t forget to allow those you serve to serve you too. This is how we avoid one-sided friendships and combat a savior complex.

Words of Inspiration 

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change. Small habits can make a meaningful difference by providing evidence of a new identity. And if a change is meaningful, it is actually big. That's the paradox of making small improvements.” ― James Clear, Atomic Habits

Scripture I’m Meditating On

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”― Romans 12:10 (NLT)

Here’s to radical interdependence & a circle so wide it weirds people out,

Manda

I can be found at: @mandacarpenter

My journey is told in: Soul Care to Save Your Life

I wrote this for people who are bored or busy: Space Devotional

Hear my conversations with wonderful humans on: A Longer Table Podcast

Bonus Podcast Episode

Normally these raw, exclusive episodes are reserved for paying subscribers, but today I thought I’d let everyone enjoy a 14-min candid conversation between E and I about something we’ve both recently done that excited/terrified us.

Consider becoming a paying subscriber to support my work, get more bonus content, & contribute to families in crisis that, together, we assist.

PS. Three Things I’m Loving

Transparency Disclaimer: If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission at no cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely love and use.

These three things have genuinely improved my life so I want to let you in on them…

#1 An espresso machine! And not the $700+ kind. This is a game-changer. After closely tracking my average monthly spending on daily iced lattes, I knew I had to make a change. (WOOF it was an embarrassing amount I am not proud of.) I found this to inspire my concoctions, and I’m having a lot of fun with it. :)

#2 A spice rack! Organized alphabetically, which makes me so happy. E and I cook dinner for our family about five times a week, and we tend to eat healthy meals that taste good thanks to lots of spices. For years we had 30+ bottles in disarray on a shelf. This meant we often bought a replica of one we already had but simply couldn’t find in the clutter of our cabinet. Now we waste less money and feel at ease during a daily routine of ours. I honestly don’t know why we didn’t think to try this sooner. 

#3 These refrigerator bins! So that produce actually gets eaten rather than wasted. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to utilize them but I already see how much more organized our fridge is and how convenient it is to have pre-chopped veggies (cucumbers, Shi’s fav!) within reach thanks to these bins.

One thing we haven’t purchased yet, but will soon be getting are these backseat organizers for our vehicle. I want to store some books, snacks and toys for Shia and prepare to keep extra diapers, wipes, and bottles in it for baby L.

What’s something wonderful that you’ve purchased - new or used - or borrowed/traded recently?