Why Getting a “Real” Job Was Best for Me, My Family, & (Surprisingly) My Business

“You got a real job?!” — someone said to my face, as if the work I’ve been doing throughout the last five years was fake? 

I politely corrected them. “No, silly. I got a new job.”

This happens to be my first full-time, traditional W2 gig since 2018! It’s a massive change, but something I purposefully chose for myself, our family, and yes, even my business. 

As coincidental or ironic the timing of this new gig may seem, it was not a direct result of E becoming fully self-employed. So, how did I know this was for the best? And what does this mean for my writing and other work? 

Here’s the scoop on my vocational pivot with 5 reasons that may surprise you… 

1. Being a rookie has its advantages. 

For the same reason I took on short-term contract work during my five years of self-employment, the benefit of being an amateour was a major draw for me when it came to this new job. 

Not the new job. This is from one of my previous contracts!

Every new vocational opportunity leads to growth, and when I got really honest with myself, I recognized that I’d grown extremely comfortable to the point of stagnancy in my professional life. Everyone who knows me knows this is another way of saying: I got bored. Nothing was giving me nervous butterflies or proving to be a challenge, which leads to my next point.

2. I had capacity for more.

Upon hiring Allie full-time, I had increased capacity because like any great contractor, she took so much off of my plate! This is a good “problem” to have. I could use this newfound capacity to drive revenue, which is always needed when you're a creative living in Los Angeles of all cities. Money isn’t magically being deposited every two weeks when you’re self-employed; every incoming penny is direct result of grinding. 

The problem was, I didn’t want to create more or new things. Yet that’s how I make a living in my work as a writer, speaker, and advocate. (Therein lies a tension.) 

Writing my next book is fun, but the pressure to hurry in an effort to lock in the next payday was killing my creativity and desire. One night I told E that I had to really discern: 

Do I use this capacity to drive more revenue by creating new resources, online courses, coaching opportunities, and in-person retreats?

OR 

Do I find another way to generate the income we need for our family and enjoy all of my creative work without the pressure to monetize it? 

Even just the thought of the first option drained my energy, and that was something I paid attention to. I’ve been thinking a lot about how, as life changes, sometimes the very things that used to drain us become energizing, and vice versa.

3. I missed being part of a team & being poured into. 

I’ve missed having a superior who is more experienced in life, both personally and professionally, that I can glean wisdom from and be challenged by. I miss the camaraderie of building something with a whole team. And I love learning! I’m the type of person who would always be in school if it weren’t so dang expensive. 

4. Stability is high on the priority list of my values.

In January when E and I made the decision for him to begin his transition to the world of self-employment, we were aware of what this meant for our finances. While the math added up on paper, there wasn’t much of a buffer and that gave me a lot of anxiety. I’m not risk averse by any means, but my desire for stability* was something I couldn’t deny. He and I had many conversations about this. The solution was not for him to go back on his decision after he’d come so far in songwriting and music production. The solution was for me to look into how I could potentially replace his steady income with some steadiness of my own. 

*not going into debt or draining our savings, being able to go out to eat occasionally without feeling guilty, and keeping Shia at his daycare (he loves it!) and eventually sending baby L there too

5. Self-employment is wonderful – and it’s overly glamorized. 

I am incredibly thankful for my time of running my own business. I needed to scratch the itch, and I feel as though I’ve thoroughly done that– at least for now. 

Having the ability to create what’s meaningful to me and the flexibility to make my own schedule and take on contract gigs has been a wonderful opportunity.

But self-employment is not as glamorous as many make it out to be.

It’s a hustle and I don’t subscribe to that pace anymore. I prefer to turn off my work brain on the weekends and in the evenings, which is exceptionally difficult to do when you are not receiving a direct deposit every other week.

Bonus unsolicited piece of advice for inquiring minds!

In addition to trusting myself (Does this give me peace?) I run every single major decision I make through an “absolute worst case scenario” test. I ask myself the following question.

What’s the worst thing that could happen if I do this, but regret it or it doesn’t work out? 

If the absolute worst case scenario isn’t actually all that terrible – read: I get fired or I quit and things go right back to the way they were until I figure out a new plan – then I usually go for it. 

Have you ever thought it would be fun to be self-employed or do you prefer traditional employment? Did this help you in any way? Please tell me.

Pivoting with confidence (and donuts), 

Manda 

We’ve got another bonus podcast episode coming your way next week!

PS. Allie isn’t going anywhere at this time! Because of her, I’m able to sustain much of what I was doing in my business so there won’t be too many changes.

PPS. I teared up over your feedback from the short survey that I shared last week! Some of you wrote the kindest, most encouraging things and made me think: Wow, the time and energy I put into this really does matter. They care. They enjoy it. They look forward to it. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.